Pepi in Wonderland this time is a little bit mischievous. We’re going to talk about love hotels in Japan, where the crazy things happen. Before going to Japan I had no fix idea about love hotels, but after arriving I was shocked by the craziness in designs. By that time I arrived in Japan, I had had poor exposure to the internet, and the info that I had was quite innocent. The first one to talk to me about the wonders of such hotels was an Italian girl. She was in the Hello Kitty room of a love hotel, and she was describing to me the craziest night ever while I was staring back at her in disbelief and giving her some assassin looks back because she was destroying my childhood. [Pink rooms decorated with Hello Kitty plushes are naughty, I should have known that! Who the hell has so much pink in a room unless you’re going to have wild parties in it?] However, this was not the strangest room ever, nor the cutest, nor the naughtiest, nor the craziest. Japan has a great array of love hotels where you can do everything and more so that you never end up doing sexy stuff. [Who wants to get into reindeer games when you have a console and endless games?]
Want to Cosplay and feel like you’re in the Batman cave? No problem! You can get it! Go to Jurassic Park! No problem, we’ll find you a dinosaur! Want to have sex in the tube? No problem, we’ll reproduce a whole wagon for you! Want to have a 50 shades of Gray with all the gear? No problem, we’ll creep the hell out of you too! And if you’re a beginner, don’t worry! We’ll prepare a karaoke, console and other stuff you can enjoy while you stay with us. Sounds pretty cool, doesn’t it?
Well… until you meet the granny at the entrance.
Love hotels are quite private. You get the room menu at the entrance, and when you pay you usually see some hands on the other side of a crystal wall, or you just push buttons; but you don’t really get to meet who takes care of the whole business. Until you get the chills with a cute Japanese grandma who wants to be very polite but makes you extremely uncomfortable. [OMG! An old lady! And she knows we’re up to no good!] Sorry folks, sometimes you happen to find members of the stuff around. It’s not normal, or at least it shouldn’t, but it can happen. And if it does, prepare yourself because it’s going to be a happy granny.
Most love hotels are pretty normal, but there are some with incredible rooms. Sometimes you can find some funny buildings as well, and they tend to be amusement parks. Usually you know you’re in front of a love hotel because the windows are all painted. So, inside you are guaranteed that you’ll have an eternal night of pleasure, or food, or video games, or karaoke, or whatever. However, depite all the privacy and buttons, the probavilities for you to find a granny at the entrance are there. [Remembering the trauma…] I have been in love hotels, and I have met the typical granny at the entrace quite a couple of times. Sorry to ruin the futuristic halo and techie privacy, but for some reason there tends to be a cute Japanese old lady somewhere to make you pretty uncomfortable. [Honorable guest that are just going to enjoy our room for raindeer games, do you need anything extra?]
If you happen to go to Japan, please try to find a night for a cool love hotel. There are many, and in proportion only a few have the cool stuff. And if you are lucky, you might even find the crazy whatever-the-topic-is room available. If you think you’ll be not comfortable, think about just taking a walk outside. Some buildings are just too funny and crazy as not to make it into the picture collection. If you find an Ancient-Rome-temple-like building with fire at the entrance, it’s just a love hotel, you don’t need to make sacrifices there. No gladiators inside either.